kindness of strangers
tattoo virgin
Wandered into a cavernous caff in West End and the girl there was showing me her tattoos. I am squeamish and have never pierced my ears. Tattoos are beyond me, I wouldn’t, I couldn’t. We stood poring over her long brown arms, turning and tracing the story which evolved from something simple into something faceted. “It’s nice talking with like-minded people,” she said.
I thought about this word like-minded and what it means. The people I hear using it seem to be people I feel comfortable with. I wondered is it just what I’m hearing, or is it that people who use this word tend to be people I get along with and like. Is it a less judgmental and more fluid term than for example “they have values I respect.” Is it less confining and more welcoming and free from expectation than the older “we have a lot in common.”
This girl bristled with insignias I don’t desire or share. There was an age gap. We were strangers. I was her customer. What was it that lept the gap in such a brief conversation, that left us feeling comfortable, feeling even a mild affection? How did we divine our like-mindedness? Well, through expression and language and tone and eyes, the languages of the soul and body. Does like-minded maybe mean not so much “our minds are alike” as “we both tend to like people’s minds”?
I think about the conversations I have with the people I would call “like-minded.” Every week, some spark, and some do not. There is something exploratory. An acceptance of difference. A failure to require the stranger to conform to a recipe either of us have arrived with, or that has been ready-handed to us.
In the miracle bowl of my brain and the miracle foreign world of hers, something gleamed. There was an element like sunshine or moonlight or rain that we could enjoy in one another that was universal and therefore shared. The sparkling sea of rain that sloshes round a souvenir: an experience there are more than fifty words for: two separate worlds stood side by side for a fleeting instant, worlds transparent yet ineffable, in a shared kind of frame, like snowdomes for entirely different monuments.
I like this one quite a lot!
Thanks, Christine!
Sometimes comments or taking an interest in somebody evokes a sense of empathy. A sense of enjoying being noticed coalescing with the freedom of exposing your interest or curiosity about another person. perhaps it is less about being “like minded” than being in touch with and comfortable with your feelings and emotions.
it has always struck me that you are highly emotionally intelligent and have the ability to see beyond the facades. You are also willing (very bravely) to allow your senses to indulge in the moment and let your reactions show. You live on so many levels simultaneously, and you can enjoy it. It’s a gift.
That’s interesting, Brendan, it does rather feel that way. More as though the like-minded person is also sitting – in their own worldview, whatever that is – looking out with an expectant curiosity than as though you are both seeing or perhaps looking for the same thing. Thank you for your generous feedback and for celebrating my bravery. It costs me and I love to have it loved. Cathoel x