Yesterday I was at my friend’s place after a thunderstorm and she had a little curving highway of ants running up over her wall, so tiny they looked like caterpillar’s eyelashes, and I said look! at these teensy ants so busily there: my friend goes, ugh they are always in my kitchen and I can’t […]
Caring for Dad is painful. I love him, naturally, and now he’s very frail and unwell; so it’s wrung from me like dark water out of soaked wood. But Dad tormented me with minor sexual attentions during my pubescence and twenties, and into my adulthood; he would never listen when I said No and always […]
Christmas can be excruciating. All this talk of love and family throws heartache, loss and loneliness into relief. A woman I used to know killed herself this week, from sheer isolation it seems. In German it’s called self-murder. It happens sometimes that the people we love are not within reach, or they have died, or […]
