how tis.

The courage… to get through life without this sense of home, without this refuge, whilst surviving a world which exploits our mothering kindness and assaults us for our femininity, is untold. But many many many women of my acquaintance will know exactly what I mean. I crave this home. Built with somebody who will not require that I mother and coach and be patient with him, that I endure his unkindness while he waits to work out whether he wants to grow. The difficulty, the sheer plain flat out arduous difficulty, of making our way through the years without this comfort, this kindness and safety, this home.

I don’t have any children and have nearly no family. I have never had a man who was as kind to me as I was to him. I have been transferring my energy to men, all my life, since I looked after my dear daffy immature dad when I was six. Men you don’t even know we are giants who walk among you, we are so secret in our courage and our eternal resilience and good favour, we are a lot of the time unsupported and alone, we are bold.

Respect women. Believe women. Support women. Listen to women.


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“Happiness doesn’t lie in conspicuous consumption and the relentless amassing of useless crap. Happiness lies in the person sitting beside you and your ability to talk to them. Happiness is clear-headed human interaction and empathy. Happiness is home. And home is not a house — home is a mythological concept. It is a state of mind. A place of communion and unconditional love. It is where, when you cross its threshold, you finally feel at peace.” ~ Dennis Lehane