imagine if

if I ruled the world

if I ruled the world
Written by Cathoel Jorss,

If I ruled the world for one day: to do list

1. make leafblowers illegal.

These waste fossil fuel and create pollution & noise pollution. They’re useless and they encourage blame-shifting. Communities who can afford the use of leafblowers invariably need more physical activity. Raking leaves is peaceful and calming.

2. all toilet paper to be made from post-consumer recycled paper.

There aren’t enough trees left for us to be cutting them down to wipe our bums. Anyway it’s softer: it’s been pulped twice.

3. refugees, asylum seekers, and migrants shall be placed in whichever country best suits their character and can benefit from their presence, as judged by a panel of Indigenous elders and trauma psychologists. First priority: safety and escape from crisis. Second priority: they can go anywhere they want so long as they demonstrate to the panel’s satisfaction that they can make a contribution whether social, culinary, cultural, artistic, educational, spiritual or economic. The only proviso is that after five years’ citizenship every new arrival is required to make a report of their commitment to the new country with examples of how they sustain their native culture and how they adopt the new, and how they struggle to make these two compatible. These testimonials are videoed and available in libraries and schools.

I need a sabbatical. That was tiring.

27 comments on “if I ruled the world

  1. What are yours? We might need a committee here.

    Cathoel Jorss October 19, 2015 at 11:09 pm
  2. Quite right too. Unicorns are way too expensive as it stands.

    Cathoel Jorss October 19, 2015 at 11:42 pm
  3. Is that the pod ones, Nikki? I forgot about those. Selfish monstrosities. Broke my heart to see Patti Smith’s polaroid of her beloved coffee pod landfill generator on her kitchen bench & read her paean to it. Good add!

    Cathoel Jorss October 20, 2015 at 12:10 am
  4. Oh, poor guy. Just imagine.

    I agree. What does it save you? and at what cost? can it really feel worthwhile to save those few seconds of scrubbing, but knowing you are creating five hundred little vials a year that will never dissolve into soil?

    Cathoel Jorss October 20, 2015 at 12:22 am
  5. You had my vote with #1 ! Down with the leaf-blowers Reign of (noisy) Terror! Long live the rake!

    Guy Gracchus October 21, 2015 at 3:33 pm
  6. Rakes, progress.

    Cathoel Jorss October 23, 2015 at 12:53 am

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